I also posted this in blog on myspace:
When a person crashes and falls into a hole deeper than anyone could imagine, it seems there is no hope, only infinite darkness and sadness,
Lost dreams…
Lost love…
Loss of passion…
Soul of stone…
Ice cold heart…
Only a gullible fool for people to laugh at…

Would you want to be around a person like that, to love a person like that or to share energy with a person like that…

If the answer is NO---
Fuck you and get over yourself, no one is perfect

If the answer is YES----
WELCOME TO MY WORLD

Life always seems to throw us back and forth on the pendulum of life. Life is hard and no one ever said it was going to be easy or fair. Sometimes focus is such a difficult thing to find underneath all the shit and masks. Under it all, lays a person true of heart and a loving old soul.
For reasons left unsaid in the previous words, it was chosen not to use "I" and "me".
After thirty-three and half years, it seems only one person has been able to see through it all. A fellow being living in this illusion of what people call life. On January 19th 2005, my life began to change whether I wanted to see it or embrace it. The Universe answers when you need it the most and truly call out and mean it with all your heart and soul. That early morning of the date mentioned above, I was on the brink of doing something horrible and irreversible; the lure of this life had run its course. Listen to The Universe and your inner being and things will get better. It may take awhile, just listen. (From my experience)

Letting someone into my world did not come without fear and heartache of being snuffed out once again.
Unconditional love is unheard of for most people. The crazy thing about love is a person never knows when it is going to hit your heart and soul. Falling in love is a facade of "Hollywood's" way to love. Love is supposed to come to a person naturally and not to take it for granted. Leave the "falling in" out of it and just LOVE one another.
It has been close to 20 months since meeting that amazing fellow being, a lot of things have changed in my life. A lot are still the same and that is my fault. I am working on it. We are students in this Universe until we die and if we still have not learned the lesson we were put here to learn, we come back again and again until we get it right. (-In what I believe-)
I can be a Templeton (remember the rat from Charlotte's Web), a hard ass and very stubborn. That does not mean I am not listening, it just takes some time to sink in. LOL

On June 25th of this year, I uprooted myself from everything and everyone I had ever known, including the few friends I had, children and my hometown. By the Gods, it was beyond scary and still is. It sure has brought some great revelations and perspectives into my life. Which I need so I can grow and heal and be to person I have always meant and want to be.

Thanks to YOU, fellow Lightworker
Thank you, fellow Beings
Thank you, Great Spirit and Bless Us Everyone
Many Hugsssss,
Jazzmyn

Disclaimer-
No sympathy is wanted or needed- only a teaching tool to be able to articulate again and connect to my long lost MUSE!!!

I get my Viv on wednesday instead of thursday
YIPPIEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am ready to bring her home...I have everything I need...I will be making a cat bed and a scratching post...I hope I bought enough toys for her...Oh..What if I didn't?? What if she don't like them?? What if she really don't like me??..Oh gees don't get nervous now...Oppps too late

Always
Vivvy

YIPPIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

Watching: Watching: Law and Order

Well, I had a kitten awhile back and I had to give it back because it was a male...My landlord said I could have a cat but did tell tell me whether I could have a male or female...I had him for two days...I had the same therapist for 14 months and he took a different job and I have had a hard time dealing with that because I always had issues with therapists...I seemed to click with the one I had for 14 months and I am kind of in the grieving process right now...Long story...Well, My new therapist decided today to take me to the humane society...I saw that kitten I had out there and he ran right up to me...Of course he was much bigger but I knew it was him...I told the gal at the humane society what had happened and she let me name him...Diamond it was...It was great...Well anyway on with the rest of the story...lol...There is an agency here called LIT and my new therapist talked to them about me getting a cat...She told them that she thought it would help with my depression so they will be paying for me to adopt a cat...I found a female...She is so pretty...I picked her up and right away she nuzzled my neck and I knew I wanted her...You will never guess what her name is...She was already named...I knew she was meant to be mine...She is perfect for me...She loves to cuddle and I can tell she was there at that time for me...She is two years old and she is all different colors...Her eyes are bright gold...My therapist gave me a litter box, litter, food and some toys for her...I am beyond delighted...She will be spayed and get all her shots on Wednesday and I will be able to pick her up on Thursday...I am so excited I can hardly sit still...My therapist told me Happy Yule...Now I won't be alone for the holidays...I think this therapist will be good for me...By the way, The cat is named Viv/Vivian...How cool is that

Always
Vivvy